


"Maybe that's affecting your judgement."

by diana_hawthorne (dhawthorne)



Category: Law & Order
Genre: F/M, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 07:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17863220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhawthorne/pseuds/diana_hawthorne
Summary: It chills her blood, the thought of the similarities between them. Not that she’d ever do what Diana did, she wouldneverdo that…Post-ep for "Trophy."





	"Maybe that's affecting your judgement."

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic comes from a line in the episode.

She cuts Diana a deal.

There wasn’t a choice, not really, not when Diana wasn’t fully culpable. No, Jack didn’t ask her to suppress evidence, of course not… but Diana was twenty-five years old when she became his assistant, twenty-six when she became his lover… 

When she was twenty-six she was sleeping with Joel Thayer and she’d thought she was an adult, thought she was his _equal_ , and look where that got her.

It chills her blood, the thought of the similarities between them. Not that she’d ever do what Diana did, she would _never_ do that…

...but she’s sure Diana thought the same thing, too, at one point.

 _I didn’t know women like me did things like that_ , she’d told Jack. She was in Adam’s office when Diana said that, the door just cracked between the two, and she’d heard their conversation.

 _I never asked you_ , Jack had said.

 _No. But I thought you’d be grateful_ , she told him.

_You didn’t need my gratitude._

_Yes, I did, Jack… and here we are._

God. She’d nearly dropped her armful of bluebacks, a shiver going through her. In another life--hell, even in _this_ one--

_No._

 

_You are sleeping with him, aren’t you?_

Was it so obvious?

After Thayer, she’d never thought she’d get involved with her boss again. And then Jack came zipping along on his motorcycle, and she’d told herself it was different, _he_ was different, he wasn’t like Thayer…

…he was more like him than either of them realized. 

 

When Jack confronts her later, telling her she didn’t need to cut a deal because she would’ve won the case, she says, ‘But I thought that’s what you wanted.’

The fear on his face--it stops her heart.

She laughs it off, but her words come back to her.

_I did it for you… I thought you’d be grateful._

 

He rolls over in bed, asleep. His arm coming to rest on her waist. His breath hot on her neck. He’s close, too close, and she forces herself not to push his arm away.

She loves him.

Doesn’t she?

 _Your boss and your lover. That’s a pretty strong influence._ She said that to Diana, but… _oh, God, Claire_ , she thinks. _You have no idea what you’re doing. You have no idea._

_How could you be so stupid?_

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my all-time favorite episodes of L&O. It's masterfully done, I think, particularly the personal revelations and motivations.


End file.
